September 22, 2020

Top Ten Tim Tebow Status Updates

Unless you have been living in a cave with Osama bin Laden over the last week then I think it’s safe to say you have heard Tim Tebow suffered a concussion last Saturday against Kentucky. Since then it seems like almost everytime I turn around someone is providing an update on whether he will be able to play this coming Saturday against LSU. It’s definitely a big game considering Florida is the top-ranked team in the country and LSU is currently fourth, but I think we can do without the 24/7 updates on Tebow.

#10
Tim Tebow just finished guzzling a Red Bull, but it didn’t give him wings.

#9
Tim Tebow was spotted at a mall in Gainesville shopping for socks, but something still might not be right with his head because the socks he purchased were pink.

#8
Tim Tebow is still a virgin.

#7
Tim Tebow attended all his classes today so it was a busy day for the quarterback considering the three classes he attended were weightlifting, under water fire safety and the basics of golf.

#6
Tim Tebow didn’t practice again today with the rest of the team, but he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express recently.

#5
Tim Tebow told the media today he will definitely play football…again this year.

#4
Tim Tebow just turned down having sex with the 13th different girl today who offered.

#3
Tim Tebow had three balanced meals today and plans to do the same again tomorrow.

#2
Tim Tebow is even sick and tired of hearing his name on ESPN every other minute.

#1
Tim Tebow admitted that Superman doesn’t really wear Tim Tebow pajamas to bed.

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