September 22, 2020

Top Ten Tim Tebow Status Updates

Unless you have been living in a cave with Osama bin Laden over the last week then I think it’s safe to say you have heard Tim Tebow suffered a concussion last Saturday against Kentucky. Since then it seems like almost everytime I turn around someone is providing an update on whether he will be able to play this coming Saturday against LSU. It’s definitely a big game considering Florida is the top-ranked team in the country and LSU is currently fourth, but I think we can do without the 24/7 updates on Tebow.

Tim Tebow just finished guzzling a Red Bull, but it didn’t give him wings.

Tim Tebow was spotted at a mall in Gainesville shopping for socks, but something still might not be right with his head because the socks he purchased were pink.

Tim Tebow is still a virgin.

Tim Tebow attended all his classes today so it was a busy day for the quarterback considering the three classes he attended were weightlifting, under water fire safety and the basics of golf.

Tim Tebow didn’t practice again today with the rest of the team, but he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express recently.

Tim Tebow told the media today he will definitely play football…again this year.

Tim Tebow just turned down having sex with the 13th different girl today who offered.

Tim Tebow had three balanced meals today and plans to do the same again tomorrow.

Tim Tebow is even sick and tired of hearing his name on ESPN every other minute.

Tim Tebow admitted that Superman doesn’t really wear Tim Tebow pajamas to bed.


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