March 19, 2024

Tiger a Bit Rusty

Tiger Woods missed the cut in the Abu Dhabi Championship and based on his drive in the video below we can see why.  Tiger has a couple of months until The Masters so hopefully he can shake off the rust in time for the first Major championship of the year.

Nike Golf: No Cup is Safe Video

Tiger Woods is no longer Nike’s flagship athlete when it comes to the game of golf. Rory McIlroy recently signed a phat contract with the corporation and Nike immediately decided to pair the two PGA titans in a commercial together.

Bikini Wax

Those famous words were uttered by Gary McCord 16 years ago in reference to what might have been used on the greens at The Masters. After a letter to Augusta National management by Tom Watson and complaints from viewers McCord was let go. The tradition and mystique is deep and it’s that time a year again when everyone focuses on Augusta and The Masters for the next four days. Below are my thoughts on the top four golfers to watch. Enjoy folks!

KJ Choi

Miguel Angel Jimenez

Rickie Fowler

Tiger Woods

Each of these golfers will finish in the Top 20 and one of them will be sporting the Green Jacket at the end of the weekend.

Congratulations Elliot Gealy

Elliot Gealy earned an exempt status on the Nationwide Tour for 2011 after he shot a 70 on the sixth and final round of the PGA Q-School qualifying tournament recently held in Winter Garden, Florida. Gealy holed three birdies and had two bogeys on the final round at Panther Lake Course finishing up with a 425 after six rounds and tying for 59th. The top 26 earned PGA cards for 2011 and if not for a couple of bad breaks Gealy could have been in contention for the elusive PGA card. Elliot Gealy was the leading money winner on the Hooters Tour in 2004 and also was an excellent golfer at Clemson University. Congratulations on making the Nationwide Tour Elliot. SportsUnderground supports you!

Jim Gray Will Take You Down

Reporter Jim Gray confronted U.S. Ryder Cup Captain Corey Pavin yesterday after Pavin tweeted, “For the record, @golfchannel and Jim Gray has misquoted me re: picking Tiger. I never said such a thing and will not say a thing until 09/07.” Diminutive Gray confronted Pavin after a Ryder Cup press conference hosted by Pavin and European Captain Colin Montgomerie. Gray accused Pavin of being a liar, poked his chest and let Pavin know he was “going down.” Pavin isn’t the biggest guy around, but I bet it took all he could do to not cold cock Gray right on the spot. Has Gray’s head inflated even larger after hosting “The Decision” with LeBron James?

Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant Winner

Howard Stern’s Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant is over and the winner is none other than mistress #4 Jamie Jungers. Jamie Jungers won the pageant rather easily over Jaimee Grubbs and Loredana Jolie. Jungers raked in $75,000 in cash along with an exquisite black diamond ring and was so happy with the results she took time to thank God, her family and even her little dog Apple. Grubbs won $15,000 for second place and Jolie won $10,000 for participating in the “beauty pageant.” Below are some of the highlights from the big event.

– El Tiger didn’t use rubbers with Jungers for the 18 months he was with her. Tiger’s nickname for Jungers was “Jamie Juicers” and I’m sure your imagination can figure that out.

– Tiger flew Jamie Jungers in coach when he wanted her to meet up with him. One would think when you are a billionaire you might splurge a little.

– Tiger asked Jungers about a three-some and she told him she would entertain the idea “if your wife is involved” so Tiger never brought it up again.

– Jolie said Tiger was “very into role playing” so he would put his best suit on and have several foreign naked chicks hang out with them in a hotel room and order them to do things.

– Jolie also said she dated Bruce Willis and Michael Jordan and neither was as large as Tiger.

– Jaimie Grubbs was up last and she confessed that she and Tiger had sex two days after the birth of one of his kids.

– Grubbs was the only one of the three mistresses that didn’t know Tiger was married when she met him.

– Grubbs truly felt that he would leave Elin for her once she found out he was married and all this went down when she was 21 years-old.

Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant

Howard Stern and gang have been promoting the ‘Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant’ for quite some time now and tomorrow the long awaited event takes place. Initially the contest was going to include four unknown contestants, but recently one of the alleged mistresses decided to pull out of the event. (wonder if Tiger had anything to do with that?) To date no names have been leaked which in this day and time is very impressive. The winner of the contest will win a handsome ransom of $100k from AshleyMadison.com and a 3.5 karat black diamond ring from Steven Singer Jewelers.

Betting sites like Sportsbook.com has posted odds on possible contestants. Sportsbook.com currently has the odds of the winning contestant at:
Loredana Jolie (5-2), Cori Rist (5-2), Holly Sampson (3-1), Joslyn James (5-1), Jamie Jungers (5-1), Jaimee Grubbs (5-1), Kalika Moquin (8-1), Michelle Braun (8-1), Julie Postle (8-1), Theresa Rogers (20-1), Mindy Lawton (20-1), Rachel Uchitel (20-1)

The pageant will only be able to be heard on The Howard Stern Show offered exclusively from Sirius/XM radio.

Steve the Caddie Knows Nothing!

Tiger Woods’ caddie Steve Williams has had it with people thinking he was in the know about Tiger’s infidelity so he decided to speak out. Williams was interviewed by New Zealand TV 3’s 60 Minutes (who knew) recently and vehemently stated he never knew what Tiger was up to in respect to all the affairs even though he has a very close relationship with Tiger. Williams professed, “I’m a straight-up sort of person. If I had known something was going on, the whistle would have been blown. He knows that.” Williams went on to say, “Of course I’m mad at him, why would you not be? I’m close with his wife and he’s got two lovely children and he’s let them down, every single person believed that I should know or did know or had something to do with it. I knew nothing, that’s my answer.” The jury is still out on whether Williams is telling the truth and we probably won’t ever actually know, but if I were him I would be a bit cautious about what I said. If it wasn’t for Tiger no one would know a thing about Steve Williams and he wouldn’t be nearly as wealthy. I’m probably being a bit naive though because this is probably just another in a series of publicity stunts to try and clean up Tiger’s image.

Tiger Woods Talks

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

Today Tiger Woods finally broke his silence about his “transgressions” that have been revealed over the last few months. A lot will be said over the coming days and many will analyze his statements until we all are sufficiently sick of hearing about it.

But here is what I want to know…do Tiger’s words even really matter?

I mean what he did and what he will do in the future do not affect me in any way what so ever. Other than the fact that we now know he is not the person we thought him to be, what he is doing to fix his personal life means nothing to mine. To be honest if he never spoke or played golf again I am certain I would not lose one moment of sleep over it.

However, on hearing he was going to face the world – I along with millions of others – did stop what I was doing to listen to the man speak. Why I wonder did we all just do that?

Was I hoping to hear some scandalous details about his affairs? – Nope, I couldn’t care less.

Was I needing to know if he would be playing golf again? – I would be miffed if he was.

Or am I just another accident rubber-necking yahoo looking to see if I could see some carnage? – No sir…ok…maybe a little.

What I did find myself thinking during his press conference was that there was a part of me that wanted to know – could we admire this person again one day? Would we want our children to aspire to be like him?

I started this post with a well know adaptation of a popular bible verse. Not because I think we should forgive Tiger Woods or any other individual that breaks our collective, but because I think we owe it to ourselves to allow these people an opportunity to right their wrongs.

Tiger made a big mistake and hurt is family in a major way. Like it or not he has also hurt millions of people around the world who aspired to be like him. So now in addition to trying to heal his family he has an obligation to mend his relationship with his fans. That is part of the deal when you become a beloved public figure as he had. That part of fame comes with a pretty hefty price tag.

It is his to win or lose – we owe him nothing…except the opportunity to make us believe he is the man we thought he was again.

In this case I think I will watch and see what he does – off the course. If he is true to his word and he returns to his roots to find his “center” then I think I might do as he asked and “believe in him again.”

Tiger Tales Continue

We haven’t talked about Tiger in over a week which doesn’t bother us necessarily, but we couldn’t pass up the chance after we heard the latest buzz around the fallen golfer today. Porn star Joslyn James is claiming Mr. Woods impregnated her not once, but two times. To make matters worse these two alleged pregnancies took place at the same time Tiger’s wife Elin was pregnant as well. James is stating the first pregnancy led to a miscarriage around the same time Elin gave birth to their daughter during the summer of 2007. James also claims she aborted a second pregnancy very close to the same time Tiger’s son Charlie Axel was born in February of last year.

Now I understand it might be hard to believe the word of someone who starred in such films as “Shorty Iz F&$#in’ Yo Mama 2” and “Mama F&$#ed a Black Man”, but you just never know. Joslyn will be on “Inside Edition” tonight to drop the accusations to a national audience.
Tiger, I’m not sure if you are on the high seas, in New York, in South Africa, sex rehab, Florida, or somewhere in the middle of Kansas, but it’s time to face the music. Please come out of hiding and participate in an interview with Oprah or Larry King in order to set the record straight. This stuff has got to stop and it only will once you let it loose.