December 3, 2020

The SEC Isn’t Just a Football Conference

South Carolina just won back-to-back College World Series Championships. The Gamecocks did it by winning two straight games against their conference foe Florida.  It isn’t a stretch to say the SEC dominated the college baseball world by placing three teams in the CWS with Vanderbilt also going to Omaha. Congrats to the Gamecocks on their feat, but do not expect them to compete for a ‘3Peat’ next year because the last team to do so was, of all teams, the west coast USC in 1973 on their way to 4 straight.

Florida Fans Aren’t Happy

Gator fans are none too pleased with their offensive output this year and unfortunately for them Tim Tebow is long gone. Florida hasn’t put up 300 yards in either of their last two losses to LSU and Bama and fans are pointing at offensive coordinator Steve Addazio as the problem.

We have seen before that Gator fans are web savvy and leverage the world wide web to voice their frustrations. A perfect example would be FireRonZook.com that was launched many years ago after fans had endured enough misery under the Zooker. Now FireSteveAddazio.com is up and running and another Florida fan decided to post this ad on Craigslist recently mocking Addazio.

Steve Addazio

Free Steve Addazio

Florida (4-2) takes on Mississippi State (4-2) this Saturday at 7:00 in the Swamp. If the offense sputters again this weekend Addazio might want to join the witness protection program.

Brandon Spikes Eye Gouging Video

Everyone knows things can get dirty during a pileup in a football game, but most of the time those antics aren’t captured on tape. Well, check out this video of Florida Gators linebacker Brandon Spikes aggregiously gouging the eyes of Georgia Bulldogs running back Washaun Ealey during their game this past weekend. I think SEC officials should be looking at this tape very closely and possibly take some disciplinary action.

Update – The Gators have suspended Spikes for the first half of their next game against Vanderbilt. BIG DEAL!

Not the Same Type of Party!

The World’s Largest Cocktail party just lost some of its luster after a recent change to the gathering. The annual matchup between Georgia and Florida, held in Jacksonville, no longer will allow visitors to purchase adult beverages larger than 20 ounces. In recent years, some vendors would sell any drink you could think of (beer, purple drank, margaritas, or just some good ole fashion sippy sippy) in containers that could exceed 50 ounces. Obviously this led to people getting annihilated so this is something the promoters are looking to avoid. Even nearby drinking establishments will also have to limit their alcohol sales in order to avoid alcohol related issues at the game. I recommend stacking up on air plane bottles and tuck them away for the big game.

Top Ten Tim Tebow Status Updates

Unless you have been living in a cave with Osama bin Laden over the last week then I think it’s safe to say you have heard Tim Tebow suffered a concussion last Saturday against Kentucky. Since then it seems like almost everytime I turn around someone is providing an update on whether he will be able to play this coming Saturday against LSU. It’s definitely a big game considering Florida is the top-ranked team in the country and LSU is currently fourth, but I think we can do without the 24/7 updates on Tebow.

#10
Tim Tebow just finished guzzling a Red Bull, but it didn’t give him wings.

#9
Tim Tebow was spotted at a mall in Gainesville shopping for socks, but something still might not be right with his head because the socks he purchased were pink.

#8
Tim Tebow is still a virgin.

#7
Tim Tebow attended all his classes today so it was a busy day for the quarterback considering the three classes he attended were weightlifting, under water fire safety and the basics of golf.

#6
Tim Tebow didn’t practice again today with the rest of the team, but he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express recently.

#5
Tim Tebow told the media today he will definitely play football…again this year.

#4
Tim Tebow just turned down having sex with the 13th different girl today who offered.

#3
Tim Tebow had three balanced meals today and plans to do the same again tomorrow.

#2
Tim Tebow is even sick and tired of hearing his name on ESPN every other minute.

#1
Tim Tebow admitted that Superman doesn’t really wear Tim Tebow pajamas to bed.

The SEC is Locked and Loaded

The SEC continues to be the best conference in all of college football and there really isn’t an argument around this topic, but to be frank it wasn’t heads and shoulders over a couple of conferences last year. Yes, Florida won the BCS Championship and overall the conference did well in the bowl season, but do not forget the second best team Alabama got worked by Utah in the Sugar Bowl and South Carolina was crushed by Iowa in the Outback Bowl. Overall the offenses were pretty bad last year considering six teams finished 97th or lower in total offense, five teams finished 81st or lower in rushing and seven teams finished 87th or lower in scoring. Also, SEC teams scheduled weak non-conference games on the whole and outside of a few top teams the quality was pretty poor for SEC standards.

Even the best have some down times and look for things to rebound back to their normal high standards this year. Auburn and Tennessee are almost assured to be better than their horrible seasons last year and Arkansas is improving under coach Bobby Petrino. LSU has reloaded and will be ready to roll this year and South Carolina’s offense has the promise of being something better than the anemic output they have seen in the last couple of years. Georgia will drop a little after losing Stafford and Moreno, but I could see them still being a solid team. Then you have Alabama, Ole Miss and Florida who are all heavyweights on the national scene. The only real dogs in the league this year should be Kentucky, Vanderbilt and Mississippi State.

Surprise Team

Georgia – The spotlight is completely off of the team now that Stafford and Moreno have left for the NFL and they have a lot of positive items in their favor. The Bulldogs have one of the best offensive lines in the country, a truckload of good running backs and an excellent defense. Keep an eye on Mark Richt and the Dawgs!

Disappointing Team

Mississippi – This team will not be able to live up to the hype surrounding them. Last year they flew under the radar for most of the year and took solid team after solid team down, but this year they come in highly ranked in most polls. LSU and Alabama could be better than they were last year and they along with the rest of the SEC are going to give the Rebels their best shot. Look for this team to lose at least three games.

Game of the Year

Florida versus Georgia in the world’s largest cocktail party. We mentioned Georgia as our sleeper and we think this could be a game that Florida could lose this year. Look out!

Bottom Line – The SEC is back to full strength so it should be an exciting year to say the least. While Florida is head and shoulders the favorite in the conference and in the country with all defensive starters coming back and Tim Tebow still running the show there are a lot of other tough teams that want to contend. Look for LSU to be much better, Georgia to be very strong and Bama and Ole Miss to make New Year Day bowl games. I think in the end even with all the pressure Florida will pull out the SEC Championship barring an injury to Tebow or Brandon Spikes on defense.

Lou Holtz Has Officially Lost His Marbles

Former Notre Dame head coach Lou Holtz has made his prediction of who will make the BCS Championship game this year and it has turned some heads to say the least. The deranged ESPN analyst informed the Los Angeles Times the Florida Gators will face the Notre Dame Fighting Irish in the title game. While selecting the Gators is going out on a limb about as far as predicting the sun will come up tomorrow the Irish prediction seems to be a maniacal bias more than anything else. Holtz has been so far up the Notre Dame football program’s a$$ in recent years he now has a permanent residence. We all understand Notre Dame has one of the most favorable schedules in the last few years for an Irish squad, but Aloha Bowl (which they didn’t deserve to make, but did because they are Notre Dame) to BCS title game in one year? In a separate prediction Holtz stated Elvis would sing the national anthem during the Navy/Notre Dame clash on November 7th. Have another sip of granny’s cough medicine Lou!

Poor Charleston Southern

Danny Sheridan of USA Today has made Charleston Southern a 73-POINT underdog against the mighty Florida Gators in the first week of the pending college football season. The staggering line is believed to be the biggest point spread in college football history. Vegas doesn’t normally post lines for FBS (1-A) versus FCS (1-AA) schools because the teams just aren’t on level playing fields. FBS schools are able to keep 85 players on scholarship while FCS teams are only able to have 63 scholarship players. Yet it is a common theme for FBS teams to include one of these games on their schedule so they can embarrass the weaker teams.

Since the NCAA created the separate divisions a little over 30 years ago there have only been five FBS that haven’t played a FCS opponent. These reputable teams are UCLA, USC, Washington, Notre Dame and Michigan State. That being Michigan State will no longer be on this list after the first week of this season after their home game against Montana State. I can only hope the other four hold strong because I respect them and others should as well.

Florida is the king of scheduling early creampuff games and shows no shame in doing so because they aren’t penalized in the end. Not only do they schedule early creampuffs they cater their entire nonconference schedule to their favor in egregious fashion. The Gators haven’t played an out-of-state regular season nonconference game since 1991 and it has even been longer since they last played a regular season game west of the Mississippi considering they haven’t done so since 1983. Charleston Southern, Florida International, Citadel, Florida Atlantic, Western Kentucky, Western Carolina, Middle Tennessee State, Eastern Michigan and Florida A&M are some recent examples of the cupcake competitors the Gators chose to chomp.

In the end this is the state of college football and I’m not going to lose sleep over it because it isn’t going to change. Now, on to more in important things and something we can control. Who is going to take the Charleston Southern Buccaneers +73?

Tebows Too Much

Tebows

Tim Tebow is so popular in Florida these days someone decided to create panties in his homage. These little blue and orange beauties have a T on the front with a nice little bow attached to the T. I have so many things running through my head right now I think I’m going to sign off and not say a word.