April 19, 2024

Well Said Clinton Portis

Clinton Portis has done some zany things over the years and quite frankly hasn’t come across as the sharpest or sanest person in our opinion. Well, we no longer think these things and actually we now think Clinton Portis very well might be a genius. Portis has a weekly appearance on an ESPN radio show in DC and recently rather than asking Clinton about how he is doing since his concussion the host decided to ask him about his thoughts on Tiger Woods. Portis went on to share these thoughts and I couldn’t agree with him more.

“I say don’t get married, if it’s not out of your system. I’m not married. You know, I would love to be able to say, I’m a perfect guy, yeah, baby, yeah. I’m not. You know, I’m gonna have temptations. If I find the temptation worth fulfilling, I’m gonna fulfill my temptation. If that ends up getting me in trouble at times, you know, I’ll deal with it then. But right now I’m not married, and I’m 28 years old, and I’m gonna enjoy my life … If he could keep that a secret and ain’t nobody came out and told [on him], hey, congratulate him. You know, most of the time there’s one or two, and you can’t keep that a secret. So if he can balance 14 and keep it a secret, congrats.”

Tiger might make a lot more money than Clinton Portis, but he really should have sought counsel with him before getting married to Elin.

Tiger Woods Holiday Gift Idea

Everyone is trying to wrap up their Christmas shopping and in the spirit of the holidays we would like to point out an excellent gift idea for the sports minded person. In this video you can learn everything included in the Tiger Woods’ Mistresses Collectables Plates set. I suggest you call very soon before they sell out.

Jamie Jungers Tells All on Tiger

Lingerie model Jamie Jungers talked with Meredith Viera on the Today show earlier this morning about her hanky-panky with Tiger Woods. Jungers claims to have had an 18-month affair with Tiger and was quite smitten with the famous golfer. Jungers refuted reports that she is an escort and that Tigger paid for a liposuction for her a few years back. The affair was eventually stopped by Jungers after Tiger refused to give her any cash when she asked for some help to get back on her feet. Sounds like Tiger liked to get down with Jamie, but when push came to shove he wasn’t parting with any of his cash to keep the relationship afloat.

Jamie Jungers Today show interview video:

Tiger Woods Voicemail Video Montage

I’m sure all of you have heard Tiger’s voicemail to alleged mistress Jaimee Grubbs by now, but if you haven’t then you really need to get out a little more often. Jaimee Grubbs is an absolute attention “whore” (no pun intended) and is going to milk this 15 minutes of fame for all it’s worth. There have already been semi-nude pictures of Jaimee Grubbs leaked and now there is word about a possible sex tape. Surprise surprise considering it seems everyone has a damn sext tape these days. Here is a funny video spoof of Tiger’s voicemail to Jaimee with a nice little slow jam twist. I hope you enjoy!

Tiger Woods Humor

Yesteday we received Tiger Woods website issued apology for his “transgressions” and we also learned of other women in Tiger has taken for a spin. The count is now at three women and I won’t even venture to guess where that number will end up after the media is done with him. I do think Tiger is actually taking the right stance in this situation by not addressing the media. This is a personal matter even though he is a public figure and it needs to be resolved internally with his family versus publically in the media. I understand he gets paid millions upon millions to be a public figure, but this specific situation/situations isn’t a public issue. Since there hasn’t been much humor on the topic of Tiger over the last week we thought it would be appropriate to provide some Tiger jokes. Hope you enjoy the jokes and make sure you play the Tiger Hunting video game too!

Tiger Woods Jokes

It was just reported that Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger’s wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger!

Apparently the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.”

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. The cool thing is now he has a hole-in-one.

What’s the difference between Tiger’s car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. Guess he couldn’t decide between an iron and a wood.

***Click Here to Play the Tiger Hunting Video Game***
Be sure to get to the end and if you play again, the girlfriend in the car changes.

Tiger’s Terrible Thanksgiving Holiday

Over the last couple of days controversy has been swirling around Tiger Woods and the car accident he had outside of his house early Friday morning around 2:25 AM. It has been reported Woods initially ran into a fire hydrant at the end of his driveway and ultimately ran into a neighbor’s oak tree which led to him losing consciousness for a few minutes before police arrived. The more interesting part of the story is both rear passenger windows were smashed by his wife Elin Nordegren because she was trying to help him get out of his SUV? Can you please run that by me again because I don’t think I heard that correctly? I’m sure there are tons of clubs lying around the residence, but why would she need to bust out both rear passenger windows with one of Tiger’s gap wedges in order to try to rescue him. This story stinks to high heaven especially when you consider for the second day in a row the Wood’s family has denied an interview with Florida Highway Patrol, but might grant such an interview today.

Keep in mind earlier this week the National Enquirer reported Tiger was having an affair with a NYC woman named Rachel Uchitel. The two met last summer in Las Vegas and have reportedly been sexting each other and even shacked up together earlier this month in Australia during one of Tiger’s golf tournaments. TMZ is now reporting Tiger recently told a buddy he will need to purchase a “Kobe special” which is a play on words for buying a ring to satisfy a highly ticked-off wife.
The media circus for this story has just begun and when you are the most prominent athlete in the world it will only get worse before it gets better. For the first time in his storied career, Tiger Woods is about to be drug through the mud by the tabloids and media outlets that are more than likely tired of his squeaky clean image. To date Tiger has down an excellent job of lying low, but now it’s all going to hit the fan for Mr. Woods.

Rachel Uchitel Pictures:

Rachel Uchitel

Rachel Uchitel

Female in the middle
Rachel Uchitel

Tiger Woods Stinks

Tiger Woods won the Buick Open this past weekend in impressive fashion, but that apparently isn’t the biggest buzz from the weekend of golf on the PGA tour. The bigger news revolves around whether Tiger Woods dropped straight a$$ on live TV or a crazed fan let loosed after his third burrito on the back nine of the Buick Open. Check out this video and tell me who you think dealt the blow. Tiger shakes his leg right before the Bronx cheer is blown, but I still think it is someone from the crowd. Thoughts?

So Long… Fairwell….

You better have some longshots in your Majors pools cuz Tiger Woods has missed the cut in a major for only the second time in his professional career.

Woods made two double bogeys on the way to a 4-over 74 today so he won’t be playing this weekend at the British Open after missing the cut by one stroke.

Woods tried to rally, making birdies on two of the last three holes, but a chip from the back of the green at No. 18 came up short and he settled for par.

I am sure many of you have Tom Watson, Kenichi Kuboya, Brandon Grace and Anthony Wall on your teams so all should be well with your pool selections.

The Players Championship

We are two days away from the start of The Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass, so now it’s time to go out on a limb and pick a favorite to win this year’s event. Hopefully it won’t be as hard as picking the Kentucky Derby!!

tiger-woodsTiger Woods – You would think that the 2001 Players Championship winner would be a pretty safe bet…wouldn’t you? Consider this – Tiger does not have a single top 10 finish in this event since his win, his best finish being a tie for 11th. Add in there is current struggles on the tee box and well…it doesn’t exactly lead me to believe that this is his year. But then again, I’m not one who is willing to bet against Tiger..no matter the situation.

phil-miklesonPhil Mickleson – What does Phil have to do to get respect? Everyone thought it was to win a major and he’s obviously done that. But I was watching a report on the golf channel the other night and they asked several pros if Phil was number one in the rankings would they consider him to the best player in golf? The answer…unanimously was…NO!!! Poor Phil. Even though he is at the top of his game right now, this isn’t going to be his year to win again.

Sean OHairSean O’Hair – Last week’s winner at Quail Hollow will find it tough to go back to back, despite his strong record at TPC Sawgrass. Unfortunately I don’t even see a top 10 in his future this weekend.

zach-johnsonZach Johnson – Zach had the lead going into Sunday at Quail Hollow before the proverbially wheels came off the bus early in the round. Look for Zach to make a good run at this year’s championship.

Sergio Garcia – The
sergio-garciadefending champion beat Paul Goydos in a playoff last year after not having any finish better than 15th prior to last year’s event. To date Sergio has not had a finish better than 13th. Could we see a repeat?

anthony-kimAnthony Kim – Did you see the Masters in April? 11…count ’em…11 birdies in one round. Kim has great skill and a killer putter. Look for him to be up front early, but he will drop back on Sunday as he does most of the time.

There are a whole bunch of other players who…on any day could have the weekend of their life and walk away with one of golfs most coveted trophies. But as promised, I’m going to go out on a limb and predict this year’s winner….drum roll please….

The winner of the 2009 Players Championship is…….Zach Johnson!

Ok..Ok…not exactly out on a limb.

Zach looked impressive through most of the Quail Hollow Championship. He’s a solid player who is currently ranked 7th on the money list. You know he has to be hungry after letting last weekend slip through his hands.